{"id":1430,"date":"2026-11-04T12:45:38","date_gmt":"2026-11-04T12:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/?p=1430"},"modified":"2026-11-04T12:45:38","modified_gmt":"2026-11-04T12:45:38","slug":"why-parents-need-rie-janet-lansbury-and-melani-ladygo-on-the-life-changing-philosophy-of-infant-educarers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/?p=1430","title":{"rendered":"Why Parents Need RIE: Janet Lansbury and Melani Ladygo on the Life-Changing Philosophy of Infant Educarers"},"content":{"rendered":"

For decades, parents and early childhood professionals have encountered a parenting philosophy known simply as "RIE"\u2014pronounced "rye." To some, it is described as a profound, life-changing approach to understanding babies and toddlers. To others, it can sound odd, controversial, or entirely counterintuitive compared to conventional parenting advice. In a recent episode of her podcast Unruffled<\/em>, parenting expert and author Janet Lansbury sat down with Melani Ladygo, Executive Director of Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE), to dive deeply into what the RIE approach truly entails and why modern parents benefit so profoundly from adopting its principles.<\/p>\n

The approach itself was founded by the late infant specialist Magda Gerber through the nonprofit educational organization Resources for Infant Educarers. For Lansbury, discovering RIE more than thirty years ago while attending classes with her firstborn daughter completely transformed her perceptions of infancy, childcare, and human relationships. After training one-on-one with Gerber and spending countless hours absorbing her teachings, Lansbury has dedicated much of her career to sharing these insights with a broader audience. <\/p>\n

However, defining RIE in a concise way has always presented a challenge. Because it is a nuanced philosophy rather than a rigid set of rules, it resists simple summaries. To help crystallize the core concepts, Lansbury invited Ladygo\u2014a longtime RIE associate, home-based parent-infant and toddler class instructor, and the organization’s executive director\u2014to share her perspective and history with the method.<\/p>\n

Reflecting on her early days with the organization, Ladygo noted that when she first took the intensive 60-hour training course\u2014then known as "RIE I" and now called RIE Foundations\u2014she hoped to find a quick, definitive elevator pitch to explain the work to others. Yet, even after completing the course alongside passionate early childhood educators, she found herself unable to easily sum it up. It was only through years of working in the RIE office, answering phones, and speaking directly with parents that she refined her understanding. <\/p>\n

At its core, Ladygo explained, RIE is an organization dedicated to teaching parents and professionals how to build respectful, reciprocal relationships with babies and toddlers from birth to age two. The term "educarer," coined by Magda Gerber, reflects a dual philosophy: adults care while they educate, and educate while they care. The organization exists to support these educarers in developing lifelong bonds of trust and mutual respect with children.<\/p>\n

Lansbury noted that before discovering RIE, she shared the common assumption that deep bonding and true mutual respect could only begin later in a child’s development, once language skills emerged and play felt more reciprocal. But observing her three-month-old daughter in an early RIE class revealed an astonishing internal world. She realized that her baby was a fully realized person with her own thoughts, feelings, and points of view\u2014not merely a passive recipient of adult stimulation and care. That realization served as a life-changing invitation to truly get to know her child as an individual.<\/p>\n

Ladygo\u2019s introduction to the philosophy similarly stemmed from a pivotal shift in perspective. After taking a child development course and learning about the rapid pace of early brain development, she sought practical experience by working in an infant childcare center. As luck would have it, the center was heavily influenced by RIE. Surrounded by peaceful classrooms, Ladygo initially relied on conventional instincts\u2014such as trying to distract a crying baby or physically assisting a toddler struggling to climb a playground slide. <\/p>\n

\"Why<\/figure>\n

Gentle interventions from seasoned colleagues challenged her assumptions. When she helped a little girl reach the top of a slide by pushing her feet, a teacher later asked whether the child had actually asked for help or looked frustrated. The colleague pointed out that while the child felt she had succeeded on her own, she had actually accomplished the task with adult intervention, which could undermine her growing confidence. That moment sparked Ladygo’s curiosity about the infant’s subjective experience and led her to enroll in the foundational training.<\/p>\n

Both Lansbury and Ladygo emphasize that while RIE focuses on the needs of infants and toddlers, the ultimate beneficiary of the practice is often the adult. When parents learn to genuinely see the personhood in their baby, they free themselves from the exhausting pressure to perform as "perfect parents" or constantly manufacture artificial happiness and entertainment. Instead of feeling obligated to rescue children from every minor struggle or immediate frustration, parents can adopt a calmer, more present baseline. <\/p>\n

Ladygo illustrated this dynamic by describing a busy toddler class held in a smaller indoor space due to rainy weather. Despite active children climbing, sliding, and moving furniture, the observing visitors were struck by how relaxed the parents appeared as they watched their children navigate challenges with confidence. That confidence is not innate; it is a muscle built over time through careful observation and a growing trust in children’s inherent capabilities.<\/p>\n

This philosophy of stepping back and allowing children to work through situations also transforms how adults handle social interactions and conflict. Ladygo recalled an instance involving a mother who struggled when her strong-willed daughter refused to share a rocking boat with other children. Through discussion, the mother realized her anxiety stemmed from her own lifelong habit of automatically acquiescing to others’ demands at the expense of her own needs. RIE offered her a framework to support her daughter’s right to set boundaries while also teaching her to notice the impact of her actions on peers. <\/p>\n

Rather than stepping in to arbitrate or dictate sharing, a RIE-informed adult acts as a neutral "buddyguard"\u2014keeping everyone physically safe while allowing children to navigate social friction and discover authentic solutions on their own. According to Lansbury and Ladygo, children who practice this form of social problem-solving in early childhood develop a deep sense of resilience and emotional intelligence that serves them well into their school years and adult lives.<\/p>\n

To further disseminate these ideas and build community among like-minded parents and professionals, the organization continues to host educational events, including the upcoming annual RIE conference. Featuring keynote speaker Peter Gray and a variety of workshops exploring authentic play and conflict resolution, the conference offers participants a broad view of how respectful educaring principles can be applied across different environments. <\/p>\n

As Lansbury and Ladygo noted, finding a supportive community of individuals who view children with the same respect remains one of the greatest challenges for modern parents. By embracing the RIE framework, caregivers can find moments of genuine connection, reduce unnecessary daily stress, and foster a peaceful, trusting relationship with their children that lasts a lifetime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For decades, parents and early childhood professionals have encountered a parenting philosophy known simply as "RIE"\u2014pronounced "rye." To some, it is described as a profound, life-changing approach to understanding babies and toddlers. To others, it can sound odd, controversial, or entirely counterintuitive compared to conventional parenting advice. In a recent episode of her podcast Unruffled, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1429,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[363],"tags":[1046,367,1812,364,1421,758,1418,759,64,1417,81,79,1811,365,366],"class_list":["post-1430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gentle-positive-parenting","tag-changing","tag-child-development","tag-educarers","tag-gentle-parenting","tag-infant","tag-janet","tag-ladygo","tag-lansbury","tag-life","tag-melani","tag-need","tag-parents","tag-philosophy","tag-positive-discipline","tag-respectful-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1430"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1430\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1429"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritualparent.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}